\u00a9 2023 wikiHow, Inc. All rights reserved. Be sure The best way to tell if your narcissist is trying to take you down a peg is if they try to spread lies about other people your way. When other employees know that you are a conscientious employee, they might be less likely to believe any lies the backstabber spreads and be more likely to support you. When youre at work, its important to focus on the task at hand and not let a sneaky persons behavior affect you. She seems to be an agent of chaos more often than not. Web Gossiping. WebThe first step in addressing an employee who is sabotaging you is to calmly confront them about it and explain how their actions are affecting your work and morale. Youd thereby serve to communicate weakness to those remaining loyal to you whilst providing further confidence to those considering employing their nefarious plans. Take photos for evidence of your workspace on a typical day. Do When A Coworker Has It In For Maintaining a work-life balance is hard enough as it is, but even more so when you're co-workers are sabotaging you at every turn. Try to keep your distance from them as much as possible by deleting them from your social media and staying away from people who are close to them. Ensure that you keep coworkers and management on your side by remaining steadfast and trusting in your own ability. Thank you, Happy to help, Charles! Sometimes project run late but its usually the exception, not the rule. Provide a detailed and relevant real-life example using the STAR (Situation, Task, Action, Result) method. Write a small statement of five to seven sentences that succinctly states the problem, what you have done to address the problem, and how the problem has impacted your and other coworkers work. Getting told for the first time within a group setting you're not meeting standards or have made critical errors is designed to embarass you and shake your confidence. Still, it is vital to speak up and to serve as your own biggest advocate. "I just avoid the situation," Ogawa says. If youre being targeted by a sneaky coworker, its important to keep a record of their behavior. Put their name first, delete or hide your name. Say something like, Id appreciate it if you let me voice my opinions in meetings before we make a decision. If nothing changes, then its time to approach your boss. Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 67,856 times. Since youd be referencing past patterns in an effort to predict future actions, youd be worried less about specifics and more about overall signs. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Depending on your personality, your immediate reaction when being harassed at work could be to withdraw and become suspicious of everyone around you. Take steps to prevent sabotage. Subscribe for Commentary Donate to the Site, About Us Terms of Use Refund Policy Privacy Policy. Survive a narcissistic coworker by: First documenting and gathering alibis to deflect narcissistic character assassination and rumors. Deal This site also participates in other affiliate programs and Confront Them (Sometimes This Is the Right Thing). When possible, take emotion out of the situation. Legal Statement. Copyright 2023 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved. Norfolk Southern train derails in Springfield, Ohio, At least 12 dead after winter storm slams South, Midwest, Trump speaks at CPAC after winning straw poll, Memphis Grizzlies star Ja Morant to "take some time away" from the team after allegedly brandishing a gun in a club, Man charged for alleged involvement in 2 transformer explosions, Promising drug could provide alternative to statins, new study finds, 3 children killed, 2 others wounded at Texas home, Nikki Haley slams potential GOP contenders, and Trump and George W. Bush, NTSB to investigate in-flight turbulence that left 1 passenger dead, How to Help Your Boss Give You a Promotion, View all articles by Suzanne Lucas on CBS MoneyWatch. A 2019 survey by the Society for Human Resources indicated that co-workers are willing to sabotage others to get ahead at work. "Always have backup for everything you've done in case a coworker tries to place blame on you," says Aubyn Peterson, an administrative assistant for the Miss USA Pageant. Suzanne Lucas spent 10 years in corporate human resources, where she hired, fired, managed the numbers and double-checked with the lawyers. Avoid Gossip: It can be tempting to go around and talk about the toxic coworker, but it is important to rise above and maintain a professional attitude. If your saboteur has your managers ear and youre just slinking around in the background hoping the problem will go away, your problem is likely to get worse. For more tips on avoiding and countering gaslighting in the work place here . Deal Make copies of your documents and keep the originals. Rather, they care more about how they will look in the end, no matter the outcome. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); 11 Ways How to Deal With Sneaky Coworkers, 5. Once you have determined that you have real Part of the secret to maintaining a good relationship with your boss is simply keeping a line of communication open, just as you would to promote your work. Act, don't react. Don't sit around and wait for your coworker to set the agenda. Speak to your boss directly. Ask him what you need to do to be promoted. Meet with your boss regularly. Confront your coworker. Remain positive. Document, document, document. Defend yourself without being defensive. Expect that your boss is not an idiot. Ensure your reaction to a backstabber making themselves known is one which communicates your expectation of such an event, not surprise. Seek Help With the Disliked Coworker. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. Building a culture of zero tolerance. Keep a Professional Demeanor The first thing I want to cover is that its important you keep your cool and dont get angry, annoyed, or Remember to keep your voice at an even pitch. Consider language like, I want to be as productive as possible. How to Handle As a narcissist, they will . 12 Simple Ways to Deal with a Passive Aggressive Coworker Your strategic silence will propel their desire for your truth being heard. William Gardner, Psy.D. While you might like to behave just as antagonistically as the backstabber, its important to protect your reputation by remaining calm and professional. In fact, it is a detrimental one. Related Are work friends real friends? This is part of their gaslighting or narcissistic projection manipulation strategy. Sneaky people often want to rope other people in and see how they react be the bigger person, act like it doesnt bother you. If youre suspecting or know that a coworker is sabotaging you, you need to ensure that your work performance is impeccable. How to Deal With Bosses Who Put You on the Defensive, How to Deal With Argumentative Co-workers, How to Deal with Difficult Co-Workers Who Insinuate Malice, How to Let Employees Know You Are Dealing With Bad Co-Workers, Society for Human Resources: Sabotage and Flattery, Ways to Avoid Confrontation With Your Boss, How to Work for a Supervisor You Can't Trust. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). The best way to operate in this environment is to over-communicate, commit to quality, and try to empathize with their pressures. wikiHow, Inc. is the copyright holder of this image under U.S. and international copyright laws. When the narcissist makes everything about them, it is hard to build a trusting dynamic between employees. Just be mindful of what theyre usually looking for, and dont give them any more ammo where possible. This image is not<\/b> licensed under the Creative Commons license applied to text content and some other images posted to the wikiHow website. Do not talk too loudly, too fast, or too slow. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}. Dont let your toxic co-workers hold you back from enjoying work and finding the right fit. Doing so will provide you with purpose and motivation. They will take credit for work that isnt their, while foisting their failures on any scapegoat they can find. If you have one employee who's trying to sabotage you, chances are she has some complaints -- and she may not be the only one. Go to your state's version of the EEOC (for example, in Maryland, it's the Maryland Commission on Civil Rights) and request an appointment to speak with an intake officer about filing a charge. This image may not be used by other entities without the express written consent of wikiHow, Inc.
\n<\/p>

\n<\/p><\/div>"}, {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Help-Your-Boss-See-How-a-Coworker-Is-Undermining-Others-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Help-Your-Boss-See-How-a-Coworker-Is-Undermining-Others-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f8\/Help-Your-Boss-See-How-a-Coworker-Is-Undermining-Others-Step-3-Version-2.jpg\/aid521985-v4-728px-Help-Your-Boss-See-How-a-Coworker-Is-Undermining-Others-Step-3-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"