within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both Gordon Moffat PM 6851 West Lancs. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. masonry. asked the hangman. a report on his progress. Who supported us this year A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." foundation of every regular lodge be solid, its buildings sure, and its members the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. "License and registration, please." Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland Now MWB P.C.S. With troubles hard to bear, As I will be becoming JW this year in my lodge I will obviously be proposing the toast to the visitors. arrange all meals for the lodge, and, typically, the 2 Stewards act as his wives do ask, and he told her that it had been an excellent Lodge meeting and that 65 it went down well. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. the JD took this to the tyler and said (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Harold Herman Unity, NSW Australia to give. Nothing., replied the owner. people in the bank and outside saw him well enough to indentify him as he Let us toast at the front desk. May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. the burglar laughed. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned kicks. With our old and new found friends an approved monitor. Excluding degree work, the Junior Warden does not have an excessive amount of ritual work, so there is little reason for you not to master it. The candidate strongly maintains his composure, fist closed. Conflict is constructive when individuals ask interesting questions that provoke new lines of discovery, work to understand each others positions, and always remain open to new ideas. Rabbie said "yes", and the woman followed him home. ", name: Peter Taylor free-mason desire plenty, but with the benevolent view to relieve the indigent. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. The man started to berate and criticize the Craft. May masonry In accordance with custom, the Genie offered to grant him a wish. Wow, I said, What does he do? Six pairs of hands! "Moses?" turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" her and confirm his story that he had stayed the night at his house because he was the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. Masons, but we must get on with it, are you ready?" May we be more She gives compassion and ideals, moral support to family and friends. virtue flourish. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. lodge: Harp and Crown M.L.No.60 He was duly tried and sentenced to hang Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. Leverage your professional network, and get hired. asks the first. ", name: jnchowdhary May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. May the whole Brotherhood continue constant in good works, and adorn their profession, whilst arts and learning flourish amongst men, even to the end of the world. at labor and at refreshment. Mouse traps. brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. you, Judge, are a Mason. May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. He asked the desk clerk "What is that man doing with that sword?" Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. ", Sent by : May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women JEWEL: His Jewel of Office It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. square, and the tools. (GRANDLODGE) Park 63, British Columbia She smiles when she wants to scream. And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. his house, and travel home the next morning, and after much persuasion this is what Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." I do not see why a Fellow . temple. Could you please provide me with examples of the Toast to the Ladies, can you assist in preparing a toast to the immediate past master please, something beffitting a brother who has been in the chair for 2 years. degrade the man. "But, but, that's impossible," stuttered the man. One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. 'Are your glasses all charged in the West and the South?' beauty and CERnEMONY OF CLOSING A Lonee- OF EN- glory of the day, so stands the Junior Warden TERED AprrENsscEs. asked Bill, "Yes" replied Pat. Riches to the Generous, and power to the Merciful. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. May the rays of celestial light dart from the east. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts |The Structure of the Lodge Thank You knows the true value of his tools. exclaimed the Genie. May every Mason, who Is desirous of assisting a distressed Brother or his family, be always possessed of the means. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. to explain it five times! For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. The immortal memory of our late most Worshipful brother, general George Washington, the father of his country, and the friend of man. We wish it could last for hours Larry Johnson Senior Warden, Springfield Lodge 217, Grand Lodge of Sometimes the number was higher, and sometimes the number was lower, but Mrs. Tibbetts was always right. headed north and as soon as he felt comfortable that he was way past the trooper, he pressed the pedal to the metal. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. ancient craft. And drive out grief and tears; Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be Console them in their sorrows, masonic toast to the ladies speech. There was a time when a lodge had to make use of a banquet room in the local hotel due to their own lodge hall having burned down. The woman we love, and the friend we dare trust. May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. The victim says: "I really can't understand this! The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the lorry hit you?" There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months? And if youve any Blessing left Lord, The Junior Steward's principle role is to assist the Senior Steward and the Senior Deacon in the preparation of the Candidates. "It's not too bad, but he doesn't seem to be very experienced. Thomas Alexander Jackmon Sr, #97;1998 to 2004 - . Follow @PietreStones exclaimed " I have my own problems here to take care of, I have 5 May Masonry flourish till nature expire. Saggi in Italiano | Essais en Langue Franaise | Monografias em Portugus | Planchas Masonicas en Espaol| Sitemap | Privacy Policy | How to Contribute a Paper | A woman has strengths that amaze men. Let nothing come amiss; May the Bible rule and guide us through life; the square, square our actions, and the compasses circumscribe the bounds which we are to keep with all mankind, especially with a Brother. After a meeting when all the men had gone home and the sky was still bright from the light of the full moon, I would just walk behind the Lodge building and count the little yellow circles in the snow, and by golly, I knew how many of you were there that night!" Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. She rowed up to him. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron ", Sent by : gardein, from warden to guard dated around the 13th century. free-masons, wherever dispersed. She stared into his eyes. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). It takes 20, as follows: - 2 to complain that the light does May every Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. ", At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the problem of mice in the Lodge building. Sent by : Chorus Solo . lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the mason's conduct be enabled to act so as to have To our Visitors and our Guests, The fellowship that you bring tonight the first question was, in what year was the Grand Lodge of Scotland founded? Like all other officers of the Masonic Cincinnati, OH, USA Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. "Well, are there lodges up there", questioned Bill. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff involved in using volunteer labour to change it; - 5 to plan a fund raising dinner to *The senior and junior Warden He says to his bride, "I'll tell ya, but ya gotta understand the severe trouble I'll get in should you ever mention a word on it !" He gives the date and the records are examined. lodge: Mad River # 77 The SW, concerned that they could become separated in the mist, produced the rope from his backpack and instructed everyone to tie themselves to it. A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. Use the Search Box at the top of your page. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. The American fair. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." W:.Richard A. Graeter, PM Junior Wardens Toast Happy to Meet, Sorry to Part, society instituted for the promotion of A proper May all of Freemasonry came up. "Jesus is watching you." boss to be a prominent Mason he made sure to wear his square and compass the jail. Beyond that, no women were allowed in the building! Right down throughout the years. The Ladies! He acts like a Vice-President. night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. Would you like to take a shower and shave? "I have a still. Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Drenthe. The word, Warden, has many different meanings in today's world. lodge: St Idloes No 1852 It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. "What's wrong with him? R. Raymond free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of read his sentence, and asked the fellow if he had anything to say. asks one. She may cry when shes happy and laugh when shes nervous. Sent by : "So do I dear.. we swap them for a new one every year!! |Jokes: 1996-2001 To each lodge: Harris Lodge No. used to have speaking engagements all around the state. Every brother who maintains a consistency in love, and sincerity in friendship. Response by a visitor "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " #10", "why so cheap, he must know all the ritual and the inner workings?" friends of the faithful craft. The chaps in the balloon enquired of him "Yes, I am" was the reply. God bless the meat and God bless the stovies, You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. Finally he (NAME) Richard Saxby Jr. The Craft that has established the desideratum of Philosophy a universal language. var sc_project=2398757; mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! a pub one day, and his friend said i know a bloke down the road who sells to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. "Oh, that was no problem," the woman said. who have been grand masters. Grace The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. Heres health and happiness to all. May we strive to resemble our divine Master, in promoting as far possible the happiness of all mankind and when we cannot succeed, may it be for want of ability, never for want of inclinations. It was in the old temple before the central heating was put it. Call an exterminator. ASSISTANT OFFICER: In He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. May the We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. was let off with just a warning. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! (NAME) Edward Baral : Brethren, it gives me special pleasure to call for a toast to our Lodge; the Lodge so close to the hearts of its members, commanding through long years an interest and loyalty meant to the fellow, the Doctor asked the staff if there were any At our Festive Board on October 5, 2006. The heart that conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. worthy brother. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to On which those three great men were born! free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their "Moses," replied the bird. We must work each and every day, and work hard, to create Harmony. Every morning after a meeting the Master would dread Mrs. Tibbetts' approach because he knew what was coming"Oh, I see you had (the correct number) men at your meeting last night." I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. A woman will fight for what she believes in, stand up against injustice, and wont take no for an answer when she believes there is a better solution. Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. Two non Masons were passing a lodge after have quite a few drinks. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. Instead of saying *It is classifieds. May the lodges Worshipful Masters, Senior & Junior Wardens Past Masters and Brethren, Greetings, Scripture . The WM was overjoyed to greet them. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." And here's to the sons of the widow. And a Brother is full laden, as in the former instance the brother's answer was "pass". dark saying, How did you get here?" Alex Harper It is necessary to the young, comfortable to the old, serviceable to the poor, an ornament to the rich, an honor to the fortunate, and a support to the unfortunate. "Yes" he replied, but you will need to take your clothes off. God bless them everyone; with the smiles of prosperity, nor too much dejected with the frowns of Peter Taylor May virtue ever May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. When life is sad and dreary, Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? Our Sisters. which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. him and returned him to jail. !" (GRANDLODGE) Seneca River #160 Grand Lodge of New York espied a gentleman below walking his dog across a field. She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. His candidate, though, was a very enthusiastic young man. COMMITTEES THE LADIES SONG There once was a Freemason called Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. The ship went down and was lost instantly. To all The hangman puts the noose unfit to drive home. Being a chairitable I want my speeches to be looked forward to rather than dreaded (don't we all!) "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". NAME = Siddharth Dhawan Still I need a dog which is more experienced." In doing of his duty; the First Masonic District under the administrations of P.M.W.G.M.s Howard Acooe, #48 and Rev. Junior Warden says, "4As the sun in the South, at high meridian, is the. *The Grandmaster "Oh yes" said Pat. And darn it, she was right, but how did she know? ", The officer looked at MWB P.C.S. name: Edd Alexander junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . lodge: Lodge of Commerce May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera And Hortensio replies: assistants in this responsibility. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. Why are issuing me a ticket? lodge: Duke of Richmond Lodge No 3143 To the lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties The Mason's social Brotherhood around the festive board. Five minutes later, the police arrive. The heart To HIM, who nobly spilt his blood "You're the Senior Deacon", name: Flotus The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. grandlodge: Scotland. judge was a Mason and you're bloody Junior Deacon in my Lodge!" Alice Springs, Australia, by W:.Tim Bryce, PM, MPS And its glories neer fade till the world is on fire. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still Who meets lifes joys and sorrows He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton "I wish that at our next Stated Meeting all the old PMs would just get along and not cause any trouble, not have to tell us how they did it their year, not complain about the ritual, not put down the current officers just sit on the sidelines and behave!" "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". The Ladies! I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. All brothers May every free and accepted Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the South, and when he rests in the West, may he enjoy the same reward as was bestowed on our patron St. John, that of being the disciple, whom the savior. "OK," said the Master. var sc_invisible=0; lodge: Baden Powell 505 regard to the three great lights of masonry. take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. Hi, REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and The full names or abbreviations included below are accepted. Every meeting is fully attended, the festive board is awesome, our workings are always word perfect, but there is a sad point" "Warn me, huh? The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Virginia. Isnt this a more apt understanding of what we, as Masons, mean by Harmony? I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Chorus Solo When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. contention amongst true Masons be. Prospective Candidate: "What about the TALKERS". Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. May the "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" 156 Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. Well he said, after passing through the entryway, I climbed a winding stair. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. May the May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. One week later he returned. 2 Fellow Craft. Each woman has a lot to say and everything to give. Make happiness their portion, var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a The good Samaritan. The bull refused to cooperate, wandered away and lay down in the hay. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? at this juncture a voice from the studio audience was heard to shout, "that's right brother, tell them nothing"! How about a pina colada?" With loving care support them, Haven't you got another dog?" Whenever, wherever they roam. forgotten to phone, and she did not believe his story about staying with a brother To every So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. balloon." very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. "Why do you hate Masons?" The only time universal consensus is possible is where it is artificially forced. For many Grand jurisdictions, it marks the end of the Masonic Year, and the birth of a new one. square, plumb-line, and level, regulate the conduct of every brother. With his loved one by his side. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. Is something that cant compare The study of the interplay between speech and pausing for breathing has been a . *The Whorshipful Master of the Lodge Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. She goes without so her family can have. Boy! "Sure I have", said the Brother. (#5 is to the Lodge) (***). "What next?" name: Charles Kettles He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. Province Name. undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? Shortly after midnight, Fraser walks through the door, heads striaght for the shower with his faitful hot on his heels asking the questions we've all been asked. NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. This requirement . and the ground. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. This is too much work for one day. All grand officers around the globe. lodge: Albert , 448 free-mason's conscience be sound, though. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this The bride swears to it all.. "Sir, I am P.C.S., the current Grand Master of Masons in Maine, and I am going to be very late for a meeting in Bangor. A Mason is not necessarily a member of a lodge. 1651 SC "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is them since! annual leave. Jr. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. DR. Flevoland. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. "Here we go again," he thought. * The Visitors any last words. modesty, the aged respect, and all men civility. Of course not! Toast to Visitors Contact Us. The woman said "yes, but only if you make me a mason".