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And what few you do procreate will become part of the growing criminal element, as they have no strong father-figure to teach them how to be part of successful society. Also, if the other woman keeps the baby, this is going to provide significant insight into her boyfriends character that will help her make her decision. April 9, 2012, 5:08 pm.
I agree Savannah. I know youre just trying to tell us that the little scroat wont be able to trap him, buttttt it looks like you cant hold onto him either? Again, this was the perfect time to walk away, and end it with him. If hes being deceived then hes a willing participant. And he has agreed to support the child financially. Youre only asking for heartache down the road. But, you allowed him to call and you were hoping he had changed. I can agree with you that the decision about which medical proceedure she under goes after that point is totally hers., Is it any wonder that 40% of the kids born today are bastards?. Your boyfriend is 40 effing years old. bittergaymark You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape. How do you even know that his man was actually, really furious? Whose idea was it to take a break anyway? She looked enough to bang, though, huh? It was a vague post on my part Made even more confusing by the fact that _jsw_ was posting at roughly the same time and then his posted first. Let me repeat myself IT IS NOT A LOTTERY WIN. I just dont see why thats ok but its not ok for the guy to essentially do the same thing but then have to pay. It takes a man to be a father. Even if this baby malarky goes away, even if this woman only demands financial support and nothing else from your boyfriend, this sort of drama will be your life if you stay with him. April 9, 2012, 1:05 pm. Thats seriously not cool. The more you fight for another womans man, the more desperate you look. He didnt give you another child. He says it's a mistake and just did it to forget me. I would like to also say, we dont know that shes trapping him. Generally it turns into a bunch of bleeps. I get owning up to your responsibilities in an unwanted pregnancy, but you cant really think that is going through every non-idiot males mind when he gets ready to have sex. 4. Wow, thank you so much Lili. I think what you are trying to explain are the two types of custodyover the person and over decision making for the person. Going through a breakup can be tough.It can leave you feeling restless and struggling to fill the white space left behind by the relationship. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. Its not that fucking hard. Theres a fun scenario. To be fair, the pregnant woman could be an idiot too but the only info we have about her is that she participated in sex with the LWs bf after knowing him a short time, says she was on birth control and is now pregnant and planning to raise the child. So yes, if she is trying to trap him, he should be furious at her. No, but both partners have to accept the fact that having sex means that pregnancy might occur. Has she tried to convince him to come back to her? We do live in a world where your opinion on one thing may not in fact be the most correct or perhaps their might even be two sides, both reasonable and rational positions to take. reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): A
Privacy Policy. April 9, 2012, 12:49 pm. Or so so many of you all keep saying. Is it Dear Wendy gender wars with the emotional females leaping to conclusions and bullying the open minded fair males who dare to object to name-calling and double standards? If you dont do these things and you end up donating the genetic material for a person that gets born and is running around and youre its dad, you pony up some child support because it took two people to make that kid. Thats not the point here. It's been really painful for me. But cest la vie. A kid is not a building. Where the issue comes in is who physically is around the child more, which is placement, which though there has been progress tends to err on the side of the mother still, with all other things being equal. Dee S. Advocate Dont care to be properly identified? A mans legal obligation to support his children is not some well hidden secret and nowhere is it mentioned that hes being asked for anything more. Its ironic that some of the same people who fire off insults left and right on this forum, feel so offended when someone simply disagrees with them. The vast majority of parents who have at least a rough acknowledgement of their paternity/maternity have joint custody even if the guys a deadbeat. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. Life is unfair. It will have feelings too. I kept waiting for someone to say this. Exactly, so if knowing this you still choose to proceed with anything that could result in a pregnancy you have no one to blame but yourself if you become a parent. Its not fair to create more fucked up human beings by being the father a kid never had; by making them think theres something about them that wasnt good enough. Addie Pray . Rather than holding him responsible, you have focused on the other women. But, in that case as well I would have told the woman to make sure in the future she better protected herself. I could maybe understand if he was 19 and didnt know what to do. They wanted the child and now they want to whine about how hard it is? But it also ought to be her responsibility. April 9, 2012, 5:29 pm.
I am amazed at people who think abortion is wrong for religious reasons, but have no concerns about coitus with people outside of matrimony with people they just met for two minutes. I asked him why and never got a response back, ever. So, in other words, RR, it is a noble thing to give your child to strangers in the hope that he or she is treated well (that the adoptive parents wont abuse them, wont get divorced in a messy way, wont let them fend for themselves, and so on), even though youll have no interaction with that child again, but it is base and vile to have the same lack of interaction but to provide financial support which doesnt in any way affect the mothers ability to find a partner that is right for her. I wanted to be the one who had a baby with .
Boyfriend got another girl pregnant. : r/survivinginfidelity If she is a crappy mom the kid will be used to interfer unless she can find some sucker that wont let her. Many women become habituated to the hormone regimen and begin ovulating again, even while on the pill. She provided the other half of the set, the construction site, the construction materials, she built the child. If the guy just walked away and contributed nothing, then that would be exactly akin to most adoptions, which, essentially, just mean letting someone else take care of your child. But everyday it breaks my heart knowing I'm not going to be the top priority. reader, Laura1318+, writes (25 January 2008): A
female
lets_be_honest August 24, 2019, 2:54 pm. What I see is a huge surge of anger at the guy and all sorts of reflections on what type of person he must be, and relatively little anger towards the woman, whose pregnancy and right to bear the child are apparently sacrosanct. Fine, Ill support you in raising the child, but Im not prepared to be a dad. Yes, it is the less than desirable course to take but he is, in a way, owning up to his responsibility (monetarily). And the fact is, biology dictates that women have control once a pregnancy has occurred- not just the legal system. But still. Niven and Pournelle, Lucifers Hammer]. illinois obituaries 2020 . The only ones who dont are the ones who dont ask for it and/or whom the court deems is unable or unfit to. Because the woman in question has to take on being pregnant for 9 months, giving birth, etc. No loss there. This discussion sure got crazy though!
Do you have a law to fix that? I cant tell you how many children have grown up thinking something was wrong with THEM because they had a parent who didnt want them.. lets_be_honest Again, if a woman chooses to have a baby against the fathers stated wishes (and the law of the land says this is completely and totally her choice), then that is her choice. AndreaMarie
5 SIGNS YOUR EX IS IN ONE & WHY THEY FAIL - Natasha Adamo April 9, 2012, 9:20 am. But the important thing for you to know, as the mother of a child who may not ever know their biological father, is that your child wont miss what they never had. It pays and so do the provider of the sperm. Story. April 9, 2012, 3:07 pm. April 10, 2012, 5:59 pm. Are sued for child support.
Your Turn: "He Got Another Woman Pregnant While We Were on a Break!" I believe I saw the C-word used at least once. reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): A
Watch your language young lady! Men are stupid and do stupid things, but so are women. That is a WAY better scenario than I mentioned above which would be an in and out dad who pays zilch and really fucks the kids head up. I knew, but loved him so much, forgave him & said wed give each other some space, but when I gave that space, he just went on ahead & made this lady pregnant. As for not wanting anything to do with her or her child, Im guessing that is momentary anger directed at her, not the child. John Rohan Life isnt fair. Well, the law is schizophrenic. But anyone who consents to sex and is then furious at their sex partner when a baby is the outcome is an idiot. Case in point: my mother was mentally ill, verbally and physically abusive, and vindictive enough to hurt my siblings and I just to spite my father, and she STILL got joint custody. Turns out it wasnt even his kid (thats another story), but she showed up at his work, called him repeatedly in the middle of the night, and physically assaulted his friends girlfriend in a parking lot. an objective reading of the circumstances she describes suggests that its a legitimate consideration.. Male rape victims notwithstanding, men control where their sperm goes. At this point I dont think it matters how this woman got pregnant: she did. SweetsAndBeats And I would believe him that he has no interest in her other than convenience. As much as men have some inherent advantages, women do as well, and one of them is the ability to, once pregnant, get support for 20+ years from someone they might have just met. Coke didnt have to do anything wrong. SMDH! Plus Ive noticed that the more calm and rational you keep your comment, the less likely the truly crazies ones are to even respond to you at all. Deal with it, ladies. That is what makes him a douchenozzle. Yes? But if that rape victim gave birth to the child, dropped it on the rapists doorstep and left, its highly probable that the law would pursue her for child support. Heh, are you suuuuure you still want to be a professional therapist? -Tried to pressure her into getting an abortion Given the particularities and context of any particular situation, there is a lot of unfairness to go around. April 10, 2012, 7:22 pm. There are any number of cases where under-age males, 12 years old, 14 years old, 16 years old, get hit for child support because the female teacher who statutorily RAPED them got pregnant. He might very well be an immature asshole. If someone decides to risk becoming a parent by having sex, especially unprotected sex, or by letting a pregnancy continue to the point where a baby is born, they are consenting to be responsible for any child that is produced. Id at least like a comment from the LW, since, as much fun as this has been, I do agree that it seems not unlikely that the letter is contrived. Go on about it all you want though. I am pro-choice, for both woman and for men. April 9, 2012, 10:12 am. Even if she was lying about being on birth control. She is certain it is his. But even though I led you to believe I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to have the baby anyway and thereby obligate you to two decades of support.. Its fucking unfair. When he didnt come chasing after you when you moved you knew it was over and done with. And those rapists who raped them get the money? This week she contacted him to say she was pregnant. Third, I weep for that child. I dont know why this posted as a reply to Honeybeenicki I tried to post it separately. And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. Steve Kellmeyer Dont let him use you because his life is in chaos now. And whether you believe its a child at conception or not, its a scientific fact that conception is what, at the very least, leads to life. Welcome to parenthood. So tough shit. Whatever. If it were me, Id stay FAR away from someone as seemingly immature and callous as your exand Id get myself to therapy to deal with my OWN immaturity and callousness. Chuck Pelto bittergaymark .you can call me whatever you like. Ive done that on a number of occasions. If the woman wants to abort, then she can, but thats a decision she has to make because its happening inside her own body. The problem is not the other woman, the problem is your man and how you are responding to everything. Seriously, this makes my blood boil. Hes an idiot either way. Susie and Jimmy find themselves in the same predicament only Jimmy is thrilled because hes enlisting and being deployed overseas. So of course the events are filtered through that lens. Whether or not she trapped him is irrelevant, in my opinion. Come on, though Three times? He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. When a woman tells you that shes on the pill, whether its true or not, and you believe that means that you cannot impregnate her you are the idiot. Make Ford. Not your body, not your choice. He was instrumental in the whole zygote creating you know that thing that turned into a baby Whats that? And Im not sure what his being 40 years old has to do with her getting an abortion. But in some ways, youre making my point, Francine. Originally i had used much more crass language and forgot to delete the apology ooops! April 10, 2012, 11:41 am. Instead of re-commenting this in the 23 different places above where it applies, Ill say it here (again): Why is everyone assuming he didnt use a condom? Really, people. sorry, brain). Marriage to this woman would be the most stupid thing possible. Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? female
Like being pregnant is easy. Its that theyre more likely to be honest about not wearing them when something bad results. Its fucking simple. I think that is a pretty bad guess with how this guys attitude is towards things, and how badley he wants nothing to do with the child. The key if you do decide to engage- keep it as civil and reasoned as possible. Category Convertible. He has to fit the baby into their life, not the other way around. troll label aside, we do get together monthly and burn ex-boyfriends in effigy so hes got us there. Its not some big secret that women have that option and that men are legally obligated to provide financially if she exercises that option. Pregnancy by deception? * However, if you bang and get knocked up by tiger woods (quite possible given his standards) you will be set for life and hence a lottery win is born. And not because he deserved it for having possibly unprotected sex. For the love of all things holy are you deliberately obtuse or truly lacking in basic comprehension? The fact that a child is adopted does not somehow guarantee the theyll be cared for. If it is his child, he owes the child at least something. I wouldnt consider him a scumbag for asking her to consider abortion. Seriously, no wonder so many of are all too stupid to understand where babies come from. Hes not obligated to be there emotionally, especially if he made it clear to the woman that he did not want this baby in the first place. We learned that in middle school. What are your thoughts on an abortion? Therefore, when having sex with a woman, you must assume that she could get pregnant and could keep it even though you dont want it; or on the flip side, abort it even though you dont want her to. Your boyfriend is a scumbag and you should probably not have anything to do with him. Here are five hard truths every "other woman" should know: 1. You go to a window and pick one out and take it home with you. Couples break up for many reasons. This attitude that men become slaves the instant a girl gets pregnant is actually very crazy, in my opinion. Yeah, Im with you, pretty much on all counts. Now, yes, people will say: Forgive him. During the time we both were studying for the bar, we were on a break. Or until we decide to start a family., By that logic, virtually every dude on the planet is an idiot. So, in other words, men should only have oral sex no, wait, not even that, because the STD risk remains but that women can have all the se they want, because they have the option of aborting a resulting pregnancy? On the other hand, once Im in a committed and loving relationship, I like giving blow jobs, even though I dont have any physical satisfaction from it. And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom.. According to DeCrow, he shouldnt even have to pay child support, because thats fundamentally unfair. I weep for the younger folks out there. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. Oh thank you thank you thank you! And you know, its pretty reprehensible to be calling this other woman a slew of names.
I dont feel anyone should be forced to be a part of a childs life. Im not sure. lets_be_honest Sure, lots of people take those chances. Steve Kellmeyer My Spidey sense is tingling that this could be a fake. If youd like to share you e-mail, we could correspond more about this. First, if you cant live without someone, why did you need a break? However, RR, Ill assume that every time youve ever had sex, it has been with someone you wanted in your like as a co-parent and that it was at a time in your life that a child would have been welcomed. When all of our comments are just reiterations of the same sentiment it can get boring. We have no guarantee that the mother will be as good a single parent as those mentioned in this discussion. It upsets me how much anger seems to be directed towards this unborn child.
He Won't Leave Her: 5 Harsh Truths 'The Other Woman' Must Face He explained that they were always arguing, and that they actually broke up when he first talked to me. personally i think this is a confusing, gray area that Im not sure I know the answer to. Hes a real winner. But because I am perfectly fine with pregnancy being a strict liability issue. Please. It is actually quite easy. You are an entitled, awful, C.U.N.T for even THINKING that you have an opinion on what this woman does with her pregnancy. All magically on the pill? I must respectfully disagree with you. Please read our Comment Policy before commenting. I think this guy is a jerk not because he had sex with someone else when he was single, but because he is taking no responsibility for a life he created. female
Your welcome. Glad to see youve really listened to fellow commentators, reflection on their contributions carefully and made a meaningful contribution to the DW community. What the fuck ever. She barely knows her new boyfriend, yet she's already pregnant with the guy's baby and is forced to plan a future with him. 8 Red Flags that Her Pregnancy is a Trap. Go back and reread the original letter starting with the part where hes furious with the woman he impregnated. landygirl The dude having sex is not my issue. Theres no statement suggesting that he tried to browbeat the woman into getting an abortion. hamster van beethoven He cant try and opt out of the rules that he knew he was playing by when he had sex with this woman. I know youve been in a tough situation and the fact that you and your daughter came out of it the amazingly awesome people you are shows that all a kid needs is an amazing mother who wants to provide for her kid at whatever cost to herself. Just reduces the chances.
Overlappers: They start a new relationship before breaking up with you
Your argument that consenting adults should never have sex unless theyre prepared to become parents neglects the fact that not only do we have the means to significantly reduce the risk of pregnancy, we have extremely safe ways of terminating pregnancies, especially very early on.