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We had a deep connection and since then i cantget him out of my mind. So now Im stuck and dont know what to do. When i met my husband, i cut off all contact with my Ex. But everytime i think of losing him, my heart is heavy and i feel like my world will crumble. The answer to THIS question can be the answer to the question of what to do when youve fallen in love with someone else. Even now with the chaos I am still in love with him but he has shown me a different side of him. I am still working to get through my break up but I am also trying to protect my children as my husband just says the kids will be ok! We havent even spoken to the kids yet about the status of our relationship. I contacted her to tell her about all the problems that weve had in our marriage. Im completely in love with her she is wonderful and makes me feel so alive.- she wants to be with me but as yet we havent met up again. He said the reason he never pursued me is because he had to work on himself first and that if we had dated, he would have hurt me so badly that he chose to stay away. I want to save my marriage, my family, I want to be the man, who makes her happy and I understand, that it got so far, because I took our relationship for granted and didnt invest enough in it. Encourage your spouse to talk about themselves what they like, what they feel, what they need And actively work on being a good listener. We are happy but I still have those feelings for the other person. Sorry for my bad English.. Im Dutch. but I have different concept. To work with us, you can click here. Many of us develop anxiety and lose sleep over decisions with such high stakes. With time, youll both start feeling, Im so in love with you and your bond can become stronger than ever. Now we have maybe once a month sex. I feel like if i leave my husband Im using his past as an excuse but I feel that no one should have gone through what I have and to this day I have no idea if he is just hiding that he is going out on me again. One of the women never have been with a woman and the other has been with two before her. In my case I am married, been married for about 11 years, and throughout the marriage it has been nothing but infidelity, a child born out of wedlock and emotional and mental abuse, including rape. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching by clicking here. But as you said, it isnt possible to have a In it, you will find many indicators and signs that will help you determine whether or not its time to leave this marriage. He even confessed of trailing me on Facebook and downloading every pictures of me. Married, But Constantly Thinking About Someone Else There are four options if you find yourself thinking of someone else and are debating about or have already had an affair: End the affair with that other woman or man, and fix things with your marriage Stay in your marriage while continuing a relationship with that someone real relationship with two people at the same time. Im trying to look for answers I recently split with my boyfriend of 2 years got back together he proposed to me even though I told him to wait until we are back on track I love him but Im not in love with him I have strong feelings for someone I work with who has also told me he loves me and Im torn dont know what too do Im no longer the same person I was two years ago with my boyfriend and that the person I work with makes me feel loved and is more like me and we have more in common totally confused. I told him i love him and if he cant handle the situation with me, he can choose to walk away and i will respect him with his decision. 5. Im also very bad at explaining the problems I experience. My husband and I have been slowly falling out of love for years now. Being aware of this this how you can begin to mend the problems in your relationship. She never was one to initiate anything sexual and at times how wed end up being intimate is kind of sad (wont write on this). Yes, I do my duty as a wife, how painful though especially when I see the same hurts he does just by being himself, surfacing daily. No one else would put up with me like he does. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. If you're having an affair, stop seeing each other while you work out what you want to do. But that doesn't mean there's no coming back. On top of that, a therapist or counselor can help you improve your overall well-being and help empower you to live the life you want. Right before I left my spouse threw a huge tantrum where he was punching Walls and he jumped out the car while I was driving. What were the elements that were missing, what were the problem areas, and how were you and your spouse handling them? He needed up going to Florida as well to his parents house with the kids. You caught me off guard and took me by surprise, but you simply captivated me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes. But i dont want to lose him or what i have with him. When you aremarried and falling in love with someone else, it means that there was something substantial missing in your relationship with your husband or your wife. I respect him for being the father of my children, but the love is not there. He said he would stop so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and mostly because I didnt want to break up our family (at this point we had 2 daughters). Is it how they were raised? We cannot live, except thus mutually . Married But In Love With Someone Else? He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, so why is it that this guy stirs me up so much sexually. In order to keep the peace I had to lie and say that I would stick around and I sent him videos to encourage him to get help and see someone for therapy. I left my husband shorty after and stayed with him until an apartment become available. Your email address will not be published. I want my husband and an affair. Hi Shauna, the issue is that your husband is taking you for granted, and the more hes allowed to get away with, the more he will continue to do so. Do I need a certain amount of time on my own to heal from past love, is it fair to heal and be with someone new? I am at that point where i can say i dont love him anymore. The person isnt necessarily actively searching for another person to fall in love with; it is just easier to fall for someone who offers them what theyve been craving in their relationship. What if you were in love with someone before your husband but the timing was wrong. We were best friends, lovers, the perfect match. Nobody writes about what to do, if your PARTNER falls in love. Thanks for helping out, excellent information. Together, we developed ways to communicate these needs to his wife, and worked on how he can nourish is own self-esteem without seeking external validation. However, were Christians and so it feels like we have to try. He is single and young and i am willing to give him up because he doesnt deserve someone like me, a married woman. I dont know what to do anymore. Husbands parents live with us and have created huge problems between us. Honestly, my husband is a good man. I have known that my marriage was struggling for quite some time now (at least 2 years). So I often dont say anything. In order to become a good listener, you have to really care about what your partner is saying. I am not expecting answers to all that, We can, however, ask you targetted questions and give you tools that will give you clarity. Incidentally, hes also married. Something about my kids and being a full time father I havent been able to make a decision. Im confused about this whole thing. He has cheated on me during our 1st year of marriage, said he got drunk and it was a mistake and came clean about it so I forgave him. Every single thing that we do in life has both long-term and short-term consequences. No intimacy, no affection and absolutely no making love for the past year and a half. Even called an example for others. Divorce is not to be taken lightly, but I know you know that because youre already on this website researching the situation so that you can make a well-informed decision. not to fall in love. (It lasted about 3-4 months) Out of fear of what the future would hold, I decided to stay and work on my marriage because its my comfort zone even if it meant the drama. In this situation, youre going to need to focus on the positives in your relationship. What do I do!? Hi Em, I understand that this is a tricky situation. Married for 12 years. The heart is a definitely complicated thing. When you got married to your husband or your wife, you thought that you were in it for the long haul and that the love that existed between you would never be threatened. What would happen to your children? We can provide you with powerful tools and techniques alongside a detailed action plan so that you know what approach to use in each specific phase. It has highlighted a lot more of the issues in my marriage. Your email address will not be published. When I take a step back and put things in perspective I recognize that Joseph and I have been living like roommates in a comfortable situation, but clearly our relationship was not fulfilling me. Menu. But Im scared of leaving my husband just because Im human and have feelings so I would not want to hurt him even though he has hurt me a lot. If you think your love is true, give it sometime because it is better to live together then go away. Everything would be perfect if one, or both of you, wasn't MARRIED. You want to make sure that you can highlight the positives and make sure that you both get excited about your relationship again. If you actively choose your partner every single day, it becomes easier and easier to cut ties with your lover. Wishing you all the best, Hi A, My husband has had many affairs on me and after things went south I realized I was not making him a priority due to the hurt I felt from the affairs and I started to close off. The emotional bond between us died down throughout the years, but our bond was always very solid. He has been back and forth with this girl for 3 months now. Before you come to any conclusion, i would clarify that i have not had any physical relation with my friend ever. Please dont hesitate to reach out for coaching if you would like a helping hand. Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day. But Im just so freaking unhappy, and I cant explain it very well to others. I could easily have sex multiple times a day. We emailed, messaged and talked on the phone for sometime then decided to meet face to face. I encourage you to check out the product we have created specifically for this situation, as it will help you to lay out the proper foundation. Im emotionally and physically attracted to.him and I work closely with him every day. Though weve both promised not to destroy our marriages but we simply cannot stop loving each. I will tell you about my clients situation a little further down in this article, but she was experiencing an emotion that is probably very similar to what you are experiencing if you are reading this article. I really hate my life. If you choose to leave a marriage, it should primarily be because you have decided to set out on a new path towards well-being (not another person). Whats more, we all fool ourselves from time to time in order to keep our thoughts and beliefs consistent with what we have already done or decided. He pays you unexpected compliments. I never thought that it could be threatened by anything until I met Chris. My SO claims I depend on him to much and he dont see me ever letting that go. Could you please extend them a little from next time? I am married but in love with someone else. I have thought about being direct with my coworker and ending it, but its also a friendship I just dont want to lose. Your Questions Answered! He listened to me. of having a relationship with someone who is not your husband, then there is a deeper My husband is an amazing man, amazing father, but we have different needs and wants. I dont want to hurt him and Im very scared I will be unhappy with the choice I made. I am in the situation at hand my self at this very moment. Hello Daosk, please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching. As I explained, it is very easy to let the flame sizzle out by not maintaining the love between you. Im married and also in love with another man who happens to be my teenage boyfriend about 26yrs ago. I know my husband is not ok with this because he found the text messages. Team Happily Committed. If you choose to pursue a relationship with the person youve been having an affair with, how is that going to affect their life positively and how is that going to affect their life negatively? I was wondering if he too thinks about me as much as I think about him because he broke it off for the sake of his marriage. I have told him he will never notice me while he is putting all of his romance and effort into this girl. Movies. So the decision will be considering for children life only and the best for them financially. We are here to help you if you would like to reach out to us, you can just click here. Thanks for writing this article. Wishing you all the best. I dont talk to the guy i met online coz i dont want it to be used against me. I dont have the heart to tell me husband to leave. Want it all but know I cant have it all and feel selfish for wanting it. I have just stuck it out for the kids. Perhaps it is a difficult time for him right now, but dont wait too much longer to share what you have come to understand about what you need in order to allow both of you to move on and find new, more fulfilling relationships. The way I always felt about my kids mother has always been there and I always told myself that If I could be with her again I would. Its not that he is a bad person, he is very kind, tries to make me happy in his own way, we laugh a lot because we have the same humour. As I was saying above, in the majority of cases when a person isfalling for someoneoutside of their marriage, it is because something was lacking in the marriage. We are together baby is here now. Although i dont know if it will help my situation much. I am so torn, as I love both my ex and my husband, but I dont know what to do. One day this summer he layed his hand on my knees saying I have great legs. As a team of dedicated love and relationship experts, we are here to guide you from A to Z and answer all of your questions. If you want to save your marriage, you absolutely can. I love my husband dearly and have fought to keep my marriage for 9 years. issue within your relationship that needs to be addressed. We dont have children yet, but we want to. We got back to a really nice comfortable place but he doesnt seem to want to put in the effort. But hes more down to earth, having this job since he was 17 years old and just live his life day by day. It seemed timing was always off but I always had the what if idea in the back of my head. Prior to meeting my husband almost 6 years ago, I was in a very hot/cold relationship with someone for 7 years. This period is temporary! What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. We arent really taught about the fact that all relationships will encounter highs and lows, and love is not something that is magically preserved on its own. There are many details to every story and it would be our pleasure to help you find the path that makes you happiest in the longrun. He is in every sense my best friend because we do everything together, well we did until his GF. Hello, first I would thank you for your advices, the article is very interesting! If you are a middle-aged woman looking to have a good time dating woman half your age, this article is for you. So if youve chosen to restore your relationship with your spouse, lets take a look some of the most powerful tools that you can start implementing today! 2. My daughter is still living at home with him although hes not her biological dsuvyqe and hes helping us financially, if I have a problem with my vehicle he tells me what I may need to do. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. I hate myself for wanting to be with someone else as well as my husband. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. I have not lived my spouse for about 6 years. Off limits, he says, requiring me to keep strictly proffesioal level talk or it will be all over. You want to be able to give a good example to what a healthy relationship looks like. In their law separation will affect their children very badly not only emotionally but economically. But he wants me to admit to the hubby that i am with him. The key tosaving a marriageafter something like this happens, is to pinpoint where exactly the disconnect came from. Any guidance would be much appreciated. Instead of condemning people, lets try to understand them. If you are still feeling unsure about how youre going to get to the other side of this situation and find true happiness,all you have to is get in touch with me or a member of my team. He threatened suicide so that I would just give him what he wants. Menu. I also fell in love with someone who I worked with for a short time; I literally fell in love with him the first time I met him. He was everything I wanted and needed. This poem brought tears to my eyes because I am living it. So nobody will understand.. and Im thinking Im crazy and its all on me. I want to fight to save it but all I feel too is trapped. We then had a couple of times that we met and the feelings are unreal and very powerful. When you are married and falling in love with someone else, it means that there was something substantial missing in your relationship with your husband or your wife. Well he has been messaging me a lot and talking about the past and he has mentioned he is getting a divorce and that Ive always been the one who got away. Hi from Germany. So when Im feeling bad I often feel alone, I cant really talk about it with him. Whether you choose your husband or wife, or the person youve found yourself falling for, you have to commit to them 100%. You are the only one who can make the right decision for yourself, but please dont hesitate to reach out if you would like some exercises in clarifying what your heart truly wants. Wishing you the best! Of course, the first thing you should do is determine whether this other person is worth leaving your current relationship. The best part is that this can also inspire him to want to pursue you even more, because youre not diving into his arms the moment you can. Wishing you all the best! At this point, I encourage you to think about the results of whichever choice you decide to make. I feel obligated to try to make my marriage work, but there doesnt seem to be any desire. My husband and I have full custody but allow him to see baby 1 time a week. But my problem is I cant let go of this guy. When it comes tofalling back in love with your spouse, it is important that you listen to and respond to your partners love language, and meet their deepest emotional needs! She does not see, nor does not want to hear it. I moved my children to Florida with their grandparents and told him I was done with the relationship that he needed to figure out what he wanted to do. He either speaks frankly of his married life or avoids any mention of it. Please dont hesitate to reach out to us for one on one coaching if you would like our help. He's at his most animated and attentive with you. His timing sure sucks and he did say that whatever I decide, he would be fine with. His father just passed away and he is broken. Please check out the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You might be adamantly opposed to the idea of divorce, and this could be a big part of why you're so conflicted. So.. But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. The complexities of love can feel very paralyzing, especially when multiple people are involved, so I understand that you feel like you dont know which direction to take. By the way, Ive only been married 5 years. He is supposed to make his final decision on Sat and Im terrified he will make the wrong choice and loose everything. Also to add, i never had any abusive relation with my wife, we still have very good time, laugh and care for each other, just that i have lost interest in physical relation with her. My family adores him and his family adores me. Sometimes this happens because people get lazy and too comfortable in the relationship, but other times it happens because things have been going downhill in the relationship for quite some time. What should I do? We never broke. Pls help me on hoe best to hanle this situation, thanks so much. He constantly makes me feel like Im not a priority. We started talking for long everyday and started to share everything and now it has reached to the level that i feel like attached to her more than my wife (situation is same for my friend too). If youre entertaining thoughts If you're married and in love with someone else, you might want to give yourself some time to figure out what to do. Please respond back with an answer. I think I let this other relationship evolve in the beginning just to discover what I want and if I could have it. My situation is a little different. Last but not least, you need to really think about how this is going to affect your own life. Im not sure how to go about this situation now. When my husband found out about the other man obviously came unglued and a rage i have never experienced came over him. I know its a mutual attraction and its exciting. How long for children to grow up then I can leave, when every day is so unacomplished and unfulfilled just because I am married to someone so different than my way of living life.Any thoughts you have, I would really appreciate. I am separated from my husband but we still live under the same roof in separate parts of the house because were not in a good financial position to be approved for new rental places of our own. Also my libido is a lot higher then his, I love to experiment and try new things. The connection is undeniable to both of you. Over time, our love for each other grew strong and we have had a solid base of love and trust (or so i thought). The alternative is, if you do feel you want to work at this and you do have interest to still pursue the partner, we have various options on how to move forward. I dont want to lose that! And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. He also has not been home to see the kids in 6 months. Im torn too because everything would affect our daughter and our families. My husband, Joseph, and I have been married for almost eight years and we have always been very close. Hello am married but fallen for another man he has been my friend ifeel too much love for him also feel love for my husband whom we have spent three years with him and I love him.i have tried to let it go but it hurts .what can I do the feeling are too high for me to handle. Please dont hesitate to book a session with us by clicking here! I have also worked with people who made a choice only to regret it bitterly a few years down the line. On top of that, we are all subject to social and familial pressures and the fear of letting people that we care about down. Or if I try to I quickly change subject and act all good because of his reaction. A long time ago, he made a mistake that hurt you deeply. How Long Before Moving in Together? There were no major problems with my marriage and between us we have 5 children and 10 grandchildren that are my greatest joy. To download it, you can click here. And everytime the hubby comes home, i drop everything i do and pretend im a good mother to his children, but not a good wife to him since i dont do the responsibilities that a wife does to her spouse. There are many complexities involved so I would recommend reaching out to us for coaching. And I feel like we got married for many of the wrong reasons. In your mind, your relationship has long been ready for marriage, but, During my time as a love and relationship expert here at Happily Committed, Ive seen every kind of relationship you can imagine. I will tell you right off the bat that I cannot make this decision for you. Im confused. You held me when i was down. It feels like my friend and I connect well spiritually, emotionally, through the way we were brought up, and we have great teamwork. Some have chosen their lover and have been very happy. She knows all that, we talk about it all, since she told me. You can definitely see your expertise within the paintings you write. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to my family to keep them safe and secure but horribly guilty for my feelings. I would recommend a private coaching session in order to go into more detail regarding your current relationship with your wife. I am in love with another man who makes me feel alive again, happy again. This is an obvious sign you're unhappily married and in love with someone else.